All I Have is You
by Mikin Ishida
Summary: Mark loves Roger. But getting love back is a longer road than he expected. Mark goes through the pain, joys and trials of achieving his love. Long continuation fic. Rating will go up. Chapter 8 is up!
1. Chapter 1: I want you for me

**Author Notes: My first continuation Mark and Roger fics. Thanks to everyone who reviewed 'Just some guy'**

**Disclaimer: Rent and its characters belong to the wonderful Mr. Jonathan Larson**

**Italics are thoughts. In this chapter they're all Mark. Bold Italics are flashbacks.**

All I Have is You

Chapter One: I want you for Me.

_I could spend the rest of my life waiting. Waiting behind a camera lense , watching you live your life while I hide. Watching you live your short termed life to the fullest. Does it scare you knowing your days are numbered?_

"Hey Mark, Mimi and I are gonna head down to the Life. You wanna come?"

Roger asked walking into the living room of their Avenue A loft.

Mark shrugged.

"I guess." he mumbled. "Do we have any money?"

"No but Mimi does."

"Mimi has money? I thought she quit the Cat Scratch Club?"

"She did. She's working at some fancy restaurant up town somewhere. She's a hostess."

"Ah.." Mark picked up his camera from where it lay on the couch and stood up.

"Roger! Mark you guys coming?" Mimi was heard yelling from downstairs.

"Coming!" Roger shouted back, slipping on his coat. "Let's go Mark."

Mark nodded, wrapping his scarf around his neck and putting his beloved camera in his bag , he followed Roger downstairs and on to the Life Cafe.

_Always watching. Never joining in._

Later that night, Roger was sleeping soundly in his room. It was one of his better nights. No waking up every few minutes, no moaning and groaning in his sleep. Perhaps it was because of the full stomach he came home with. Mark couldn't help but enjoy the peace. He was in his own room, organizing film strips and editing his latest film. Every so often he'd get distracted and stare at his door. Knowing Roger was only feet away in his own room. Mark sighed.

Ever since Maureen, he'd been doubting his own ability to date or fall in love again. He'd given his heart to Maureen only to have it crushed.

_More like stomped_

As the days of his heartbreak lingered on, his roommate was going through his own troubles. Coming home high or drunk was something Mark had become slightly accustomed too. But that night was different. That night it was Mark to come home late, only to find Roger sobbing in the living room and a bloody April dead in the bathroom.

**_"Roger?" he asked, walking in the door finding his friend in a horrible state of tears and sobs. No words escaped the rockers mouth. Except a muffled_**

**_"April..." Then more tears, his shaky finger pointing toward the bathroom door._**

**_Mark's heart stopped when he walked into the open door, the normally white walls stained crimson. April's dead and bloody body laying on the floor, a razor blade laying next to her._**

**_Mark wanted to help Roger. He wanted to reach out and hold his friend. Tell him it was alright._**

**_But Mark couldn't._**

**_Mark passed out._**

**_It was Collins who walked in minutes later to find Roger, still crying, and Mark passed out in front the bathroom door._**

Mark collected all the filmstrips he's organized and put them in a box. He cleared off his bed and straightened out his "blanket". He walked over to his desk and rummaged through his papers until pulling out a thick pack of stapled papers. A screenplay. A very old screenplay he'd half written when April was still alive. He flipped through the pages a bit and then threw it back down again.

_How pathetic._

His door creaked open. Mark jumped, startled.

"Mark...you awake?"

"Roger?" he half whispered turning around towards the door.

"Can I come in?"

"You're already half way there." Mark joked. Roger stifled a laugh and walked in, closing the door behind him.

"Though you'd be asleep." Roger commented.

"Nah. Couldn't. I thought you were sleeping. You were very peaceful for a change."

"Ha ha."

"So what can I do for you? You don't often come into my room in the middle of the night.:"

_Wish you would though..._

"I just...I dunno I woke up and had this feeling that I should come check on you."

"Hmm you checking on me. There's a switch."

Roger laughed.

"Guess so. Well...anyway I'm gonna go back to bed." "You do that."

_No don't go...stay with me..._

"Yeah. See you in the morning Mark."

"Night Rog."

And he walked out. The door quietly closing behind him. Mark let out a long breath that'd he'd been holding and fell back on to his bed.

_When can I have you? I want him for me...not Mimi._

Since his break up with Maureen, Mark thinking he'd lost everything, had gained one thing.

The knowledge that he loved Roger Davis.

**Author Notes: Well shall I continue this? Review and let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2: Mimi

**Author Notes: Sorry for the wait, thanks for the reviews! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own Rent. Tis all Jonathans.**

All I Have is You

Chapter 2: Mimi

Mark awoke the next morning to the sound of laughing coming from the living room. Normally that was a pleasant sound to be awoken to but for Mark it was ear shattering. Roger always laughed with her.

With Mimi.

They'd met Mimi two years ago. She danced her way into their lives and stole Roger's heart. At that time Mark was thankful to have Roger smiling and going out again, only until he realized how much Roger love her. Roger wasn't one to keep people around anymore. Since April he'd given up on love and relationships. Silly Mark thought he had a chance.

_I could live with just being his best friend if that's all I would ever get._

And just when Mark thought Roger had no room left in his heart for another love, Mimi came along and proved him wrong. Mark didn't dislike Mimi. He just hated seeing Roger wrapped around her finger all the time.

"Oh, hey Mark!" Mimi said excitedly when Mark entered the living room, still in his pajama pants and shirt. His blond hair sticking in all directions.

"Morning sleepy head." Roger commented. "Rough night?" he asked.

"Kind of." Mark muttered, walking toward the kitchen for a cup of tea.

Mimi and Roger continued the conversation. Mark didn't really listen. All he heard was the laughter. His heart beating. He was still slightly shaken by Rogers late night visit last night. It made him happy but also left him wanting more. Wanting to go into Rogers room and hold him, kiss him, be with him. But he couldn't. He had Mimi.

The phone rang. They screened as always.

"Speak!" the answering machine.

"You lazy bums! Throw the key down and stop screening!" Collins voice rang through the machine. Mark smiled and picked up the key. Stepping out onto the fire escape he threw the key down to the awaiting Collins who grinned up at him. Minutes later the loft door slid open and the MIT professor strode in, grocery bags in hand.

"And to what do we owe this unexpected visit?" Mark asked.

"Collins!" Mimi jumped up and hugged her friend. Roger took the bags out of his hand and walked over to the kitchen table to set them down.

"Yeah it's not even close to Christmas" the rocker said, glancing at the calendar

"I know. It's November. I'm on Fall break so I decided to pop by. "

"No papers to grade?"

"They can wait. I wanted to come see you. That a crime?"

"No man. We're just glad to see you." Collins laughed and embraced Roger, and then Mark. He ruffled the blonds hair playfully.

"This boy is too skinny!" he laughed. "What you feeding him Roger? Don't tell me you're on that water only diet again?"

"No no no." Mark interrupted. "Just low on cash is all"

"Benny being stingy again?"

"As always that bastard." Roger said.

"Well! No worries! Collins is here and I intend to fatten all of you up the next few days!"

Mimi laughed. "I'll take that offer any day!"

"Good, Mark put away those groceries and get your coats. To the Life Cafe we go!"

Roger and Mimi smiled and headed to Roger's room to get dressed. Mark sighed and started pulling boxes of Captain Crunch out of the bag.

"And what pray tell is up wit you?"

"What do you mean?" Mark asked innocently.

"Boy you can fool those two any day but you ain't fooling me."

Mark sighed.

"So...I take it this has something to do with Roger?"

"Kinda yeah..."

"Cohen..."

"Ok a lot to do with Roger."

"Like what. You in love with him or something?"

Mark practically fell out of his chair.

"Jesus Collins! Not so loud!"

Collins's eyes widened.

"Then you..." He motioned to Roger's room.

Mark blushed, his eyes meeting the floor.

Collins smiled from ear to ear.

"Mark you still sitting here?" Roger exclaimed coming out of his room. "Get dressed dude I'm hungry."

Mark sighed, eyeing Collins as he got up. The MIT professor grinned at the blond boy as he stumbled into his room to change.

"I knew it" he mumbled to himself.

**I know, short update! I'm sorry! It'll be longer next time I promise! So what did you think?**


	3. Chapter 3: Because I can't do anything

**Author Notes: Thanks for the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: not mine.**

All I Have is You

Chapter 3: Because I can't do anything

"I love food!" Roger declared as he and the others walked out of the Life Cafe. Collins laughed.

"Then keep eating it. Don't starve yourself like I know you do." Roger stuck his tongue out at Collins and threw his arm around Mimi, pulling her close. She laughed. Since their visit to the Life, everyone had been in good spirits. For the first time in what felt like years there was nothing holding them all down. No one was sick, they had everything they could have wanted.

Mark on the other hand had been quiet. Though no one really noticed. Mark was never one to join in conversations unless he really wanted to. And today he felt rather reclusive.

Once they reached their apartment building, Roger and Mimi disappeared into Mimi's loft. Mark sighed and walked up to his own, Collins following behind.

"I know it's hard man.."

"No Collins...I mean what can I do?"

"Not much you can do."

"There isn't anything I can do. Let's face the facts, he's straight and in love with Mimi. I'm bi and in love with him. End of story."

"Maybe not. Mark you never know what could happen."

"Could happen. Not what's going to happen. Roger's finally happy...I can't take any of that happiness away from him for my own selfish reasons..."

"Your not selfish Mark."

"Yeah I am..."

"No. Look, I know it's hard to love someone and not be able to have them, and you're right, there isn't much you can do. But you can still take care of him like you always do."

"I love him Collins..."

"I know."

"Then why does it hurt so much? Is love supposed to hurt this much?"

"No it's not."

Mark sighed, sitting down on the couch staring at the ceiling.

"It sucks being the witness." he muttered.

Collins sighed. There really wasn't anything he could say to comfort Mark. So he sat down and pulled the scrawny filmmaker into semi-awkward hug which he returned.

"I'm gonna go pay Maureen and Joanne a visit...do you...?"

"No I'm fine here."

"Ok. Don't think to much. Take care of yourself. I'll be back later tonight."

"Ok.."

Collins rose and left the loft without another word, leaving Mark on the couch. After a few minutes, Mark fell asleep.

"Come on, let's see what kind of food Collins brought us." Roger said as he and Mimi entered the loft a few hours later.

"Shh Roger look!" Mimi said, pointing to the couch where Mark was still asleep.

"Man, he must be tired."

_I've never seen him sleep during the day...hope he's alright._

"Get him a blanket Roger. Look he's shivering." Roger nodded and walked into his room to search for a blanket. Mimi walked over to blond and bent down. She smiled.

_He looks like a child when he sleeps._

She gently pulled off his glasses, giving him a but more comfort. Roger returned with a thin blanket and draped it over his roommate.

"He's really out of it isn't he?" said Mimi.

"Must be. Why don't we get some food and go to my room so he doesn't wake up?"

"Sure."

Mimi went back to her loft two hours later. Roger wandered back out into the living room and over to where Mark still slept. He sat down on the coffee table, and eyed his best friend.

_He looks so touchable when he's asleep. Like his guard is let down._

He let his finger trace down Mark's pale face.

"Cold..." he muttered.

_I know you hide Mark...but from what? What are you so afraid of everyone seeing?_

Roger noted that it was now dark out and it was getting colder outside, meaning it would now get colder in the loft.

I should wake him up, he needs to eat and it's freezing out here. "Mark?" Roger said, his hand moving to Marks shoulder to shake him.

"Come on man wake up." Mark stirred, opening his blue eyes.

"Roger?" he mumbled.

"The one and only. Come on get up you've been asleep all day."

Mark groaned and sat up, eyeing the blanket and then Roger.

"Mimi and I put that on you a while ago."

"Oh...where are my glasses? I can hardly see."

"Opps! Haha, right here." Roger picked them up from the table and handed them over.

"Now up! You need food!" "So do you. Did you take your AZT?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Mark stood up and walked to the kitchen where he and Roger ate another good meal. They could get used to this but somewhere in their minds they knew they should enjoy it while it lasted. Soon they'd be without food again. Struggling to survive.

**Author Notes: Review! Tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4: Cold

Author Notes: So sorry for the long wait. Things have been a little busy but now hopefully I'll have some more time to write. Anyway, here is the next chapter.

All I Have is You

Chapter 4: Cold

"Dammit..." Roger cursed as he stumbled out of his room.

"What's wrong?" Mark inquired, looking up from the couch where he was organizing some film.

"Stubbed my toe. No big." Roger mumbled as he walked to the kitchen. Mark sighed and went back to his work.

"You want to coffee?" Roger asked. Mark shrugged.

"Sure."

After a few minutes the smell of fresh coffee had filled the loft. Roger dug out some old mugs and poured some coffee for himself and Mark.

"Thanks." Mark said, taking the mug. Roger nodded and sat down on the chair next to the couch.

"So what film is this?"

"Just my latest footage. I'm just organizing it." Roger nodded, an awkward silence settling in. He was horrible at striking conversations, especially with Mark because he was so quiet. Normally Mark was the one who spoke first, always reminding him to take his AZT or asking him about his music.

The silence was deafening to Mark. He'd long stopped paying attention to the film he was supposedly organizing and now was only using it as something to keep his hands busy. His hands shook a bit from the cold that had settled into the loft. Their heater hadn't worked in months. Thankfully they still had power and hot water but no constant source of heat.

_I wish he'd hold me...I'd be warm then._

After a few more minutes of listening to Roger sip his coffee, Mark stood.

"Going somewhere?" Roger asked as he watched Mark pick up his jacket and scarf.

"Yeah I was going to go pick up some dinner..."

"Want me to go with you?"

_YES!_

"No...it's alright. Anything you want in particular?" "What ever we can afford.."

Mark smiled, wrapping his scarf around his neck and grabbing his messenger bag.

"Alright, be back soon."

Roger nodded and Mark left.

Silence filled the loft again. Roger sighed and stood up, he picked up his guitar and flopped back down onto the couch, strumming a few chords. Absorbing himself into his music.

Mark shivered as he walked the few blocks to the Life Cafe. The wind was blowing and a light snow was falling.

_It's better than the silence I guess...still I wish Roger was with me. Why did I tell him not to come?_

Images of Mimi and April flashed through his mind.

Heroin

Needles

AIDS

Mimi

Smack

Angel...

_Because you don't want him to get sick. You're not taking anymore risks are you Mark? Mimi's great but can she take care of Roger like I can? Jesus now I sound like I'm comparing myself to Mimi. Well... I am...I am the one who pulled Roger through that harsh withdrawal. Mimi took forever getting of smack and Roger could barley take care of her._

"Can I help you?" Mark snapped out his trance, realizing he was now standing at the counter of the Life Cafe.

"Umm yeah I'd like..."

He order two sandwiches and then an extra one for Mimi if she came over.

_Always the nice guy aren't I?_

"Here you go." the waiter said a few minutes later. Mark handed him a few dollars and walked out of the Life.

Mark walked down the street, absorbed in his thoughts as he tried to ignore the cold. Suddenly he felt someone bump into him, causing him to drop his bag with his and Rogers dinner.

"Hey watch it." Mark mumbled sounding more angry than he was. He looked up and saw a group of guys glaring at him.

_Oh shit..._

"You got a problem blondie?" one of them said. Shakily Mark bent down to pick up his bag.

"No...sorry I was just..." but the man kicked him in the ribs before he could pick up his bag. Mark fell to the ground with a thud, clutching his chest.

The men laughed.

"This what you want?" one of them said, holding up the small bag of food. Mark got to his feet and tried to take the bag back.

"Please, I need that..." Mark struggled to say, his voice was shaky and out of breath.

"Don't think so." The man holding the bag grabbed Mark by his shirt collar and held him against the wall. He threw the bag to the ground and punched Mark in the face.

Pain exploded in his head as he felt himself being thrown to the ground where the men began to kick him and punch him. He felt his glasses break, a piece of his lenses breaking and cutting his face. He felt them pick him up again and drag him in the nearest alley.

"He's kinda cute..." one of them remarked.

"In a scrawny kinda way."

"Let me go..." Mark coughed.

"I don't think so..." Another punch.

Mark's messenger bag was thrown to the ground.

_Shit my camera..._

The men started rummaging through.

_No! Get the fuck out of my stuff!_

"Nothing worth value in here. Pathetic." and his bag was tossed aside.

_Maybe not to you..._

They threw Mark to the ground again and ripped of his jacket.

"What are you gonna do with him?"

"Nothing, this kid is pathetic. Just leave him."

Mark heard them leave. He coughed, blood seeping through his clothing and down his face. His glasses lay smashed beside him and his bag thrown a few feet away. His whole body hurt. His vision was blurry and his head spun as he struggled to sit up. He managed to lean up against the wall, curling himself into a tight ball. He shook, tears threatening to fall.

"So cold..." he mumbled.

_Roger...help me..._

__

Author Notes: I'm going to leave it there for now. Review and let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5: Painful Blue

**Author Notes: Sorry this took so long. My old computer died so I had to set up my super old one which lacks a lot so it took a while to set up. But I'm back! I hope you're enjoying this so far...so.. yes...here is the next chapter. **

All I Have is You

Chapter 5: Painful Blue

Roger sighed, setting his guitar down on the floor. He glanced up at the clock. 11:00 pm. Mark had been gone for over two hours.

_What could be taking him so long? It's only a few blocks to the Life... _

Roger figited a bit with his jacket, then stood and paced around the room. His eyes glancing back and forth from the door and the clock. Waiting, visualizing Mark walking through the door any minute.

_Chill out Roger. He probably met up with a friend or something and got caught up. _his lazy and optimistic side said to him while another part of him said _You idiot it's almost midnight in New York! He could have been mugged. Go find him. _

"Jesus Mark." he muttered, grabbing his leather jacket and running out of the loft.

_You'd better be alright. _

Mark shook, shiviering, scared and alone in an abandoned alleyway he knew was only a block or two away from the loft. His body was stinging with pain, blood that had flown down his face from the cut had dried and his ribs exploded with pain as he breathed. He knew that there were probably more cuts and bruises on his body, but these were the injuries that caused him the most pain. He tried to stand many times and limp his way back to the loft but he couldn't. His vision was blurry from not having his glasses and the longer he tried to see without them, the dizzier he got.

_I'm going to die...it's so cold. Where's Roger? _

"Mark!" Roger ran down the block, checking the corners and alleyways, seeing if his friend was there, always hoping he wasn't.

_You're overreacting. He's probably sitting, warm in the Life Cafe' chatting with someone. _

_'Mark wouldn't forget you...' _his mind told him.

_Dammit...Mark wouldn't leave me for that long. He said he was going to get dinner, he wouldn't just ditch me and leave me hungry that's not like him. That self-sacrificing bastard. _

Suddenly, in the midst of his running, he heard a crunch under his boot and stopped.

"What the hell.." he muttered, looking down and seeing a pair of now completly crushed glasses.

"Glasses?" he bent down to take a closer look.

_No...shit please don't let these be..._

Thick, what looked like to be square black frames.

"Mark...these are Marks..." he looked up, noticing an alley a few feet away.

"Mark?" he shouted running to it. As he peered through the darkness he saw what he feared to be Mark. A small figure, curled up into a ball and shaking.

"Mark?" the figures head rose.

"Ro...ger..."

"Shit." Roger muttered, running to his friend and bending down.

"Mark..."

Marks eyes met his, Roger gasped, swallowing a huge lump in his throat as he stared his best friends face. Blood and brusies covered his paler than normal face. His glasses were gone, his hair was covered in grime and dried blood and he was shivering. '

"Oh Mark..."

"Roger...thank..." Mark's voice was hoarse and strained.

"Shhh, don't talk I've got you now. It'll be alright." Roger placed his hands on Marks but pulled away quickly.

"So cold.." he muttered.

"Rog..." Mark choked out.

"Shhh, it's ok Mark." Roger pulled off his leather jacket and put it around the smaller man's shoulders. Mark's hands that held his legs to his chest came apart as his engergy began to decrease, his mind shutting down as Roger began to take care of him. His legs fell weakly to the ground, his lack of energy showing. He managed to reach a hand out and grasp the front of Roger's shirt. Roger looked down, his attention on Mark's hand. Mark looked up at him, his eyes that normally held so much passion and wit were now a painful blue. Roger placed his hand over Marks hand that gripped his shirt for dear life.

"It's ok. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

"Hurts Rog..." he said.

Roger felt tears sting his eyes. He'd never seen Mark so weak. He used his other arm and pulled Mark to his chest, hugging him and burying his head into Marks hair. He felt Mark shake with tearless sobs, he was too cold to cry.

"I've got you." he kept muttering into Marks ear.

After a few minutes he felt Mark calm down, looking down he saw the poor boy had passed out.

"I've got to get you back home." he said to himself. He looked around the alley and saw Marks bag that had been rummaged through laying a few feet away. He leaned Mark up against the wall while he picked up the bag and made sure everything important was in there.

_Well his camera is here...that's all he really cares about. _

Swinging the bag around his shoulders he bent back down and picked up Mark.

_He's so light. Dammit we need to eat more. _

Carefully he walked out of the alley, where the street was dimmly lighted by street lights. As he approached their bulding be began fumbling to pull his key out of his pocket, with little success as he tried to balance Mark in his arms at the same time. Just when he thought he had the key in his hand, they slipped from his grasp and slid a few feet ahead of him.

"Fuck" he cursed.

"Roger."

The rocker looked up and saw a tall figure standing by the phone booth.

"Collins!"

"No wonder you didn't pick up...holy shit Mark!" the anarchist exclaimed, seeing the bloody, passed out filmmaker in Roger's arms.

"Jesus man what happened to him?" he asked, running up to him.

"He's hurt bad. Beaten I think. Get my keys I need to get him upstairs, he's freezing." he motioned his head to the ground where his keys lay. Collins bent down and picked them up and they raced to the loft.

Collins slid the door open, stepping aside so Roger could walk in. The musician raced in and lay his friend on the couch, where the smaller man started to shiver. Roger took Mark's bag off and lay it on the ground.

"Get my blanket, it's in my room." he said. Collins obliged, coming back with a torn, old grey blanket.

"Daamn, no wonder you guys are freezing." he said, handing the blanket to Roger who lay it on Mark.

"He's so cold..." he muttered.

"How long was he out there?"

"I don't know...2 hours...I think."

"Looks like they got him pretty bad. You might want to clean those up before they get infected." Roger nodded.

Collins stood. "I'll get some water and towels."

Minutes later, Collins returned with hot water and a few washclothes. He began by wiping the blood off Mark's face.

"Where are his glasses?" Collins asked.

"Broken, I think they're still in the alley...they didn't even look like they could be fixed. Does he have a spare pair? He can't see for shit with out them."

Collins nodded. "I think he does...somewhere. I'll look in a minute, this cut looks pretty bad. Check and see if there are any more like this."

Luckily, there weren't anymore cuts, just a lot of brusing.

"He's still cold..." Roger commented.

"I know...go find another shirt of his and see if he has a spare pair of glasses. I'll be done cleaning him up when you get back." Roger nodded and went to Mark's room.

Collins continued to give his small friend a once over. Noting the brusies that coverd his stomach and chest where it looked like he'd put up a fight. He couldn't help but notice how skinny Mark was. He could clearly see his ribs, as usual, he doubted Mark had been eating.

_Man Mark...what did you get yourself into..._

He began shivering again.

"Roger! Where's that shirt?"

Roger bolted out of Marks room, a long sleeved shirt in hand, as well as a small case.

"I found his spare in his drawer." he said, holding it up.

"Good, he'll need it. Um, Roger besides the Life the other day what has this boy been eating?"

"I was wondering the same thing myself...he was so light Collins."

They slipped Mark's shirt on and covered him in the blanket, yet he still shivered violently.

"Rog..." he muttered. Collins looked at the small boy, a sad look in his eyes.

"Roger..." Mark muttered again, his eyes sliding open.

"I'm right here Mark.." he said.

"So...cold.." he mumbled. Roger stood up and sat on the couch, pulling the filmmaker into his arms.

"Shh..it's ok I'm here." Mark continued to shake. His eyes were filled with fear.

"Mark it's ok man. We're here." Collins said, laying a hand on Mark's leg. Mark gave a small nod, as if letting them know he knew they were there, then he curled up in Roger's arms and fell asleep.

"He's still so scared." Roger said. Collins nodded.

"I hope it didn't traumatize him...but we'll see once he's rested. In the meantime you'd better stick close to him."

"I intend to."

"You gonna stay here tonight?" Roger nodded.

"I'm not leaving him...not tonight."

Collins smiled. "He needs you. I'm gonna crash in your room ok? Yell if you need anything." Roger nodded as Collins walked off into his room.

Roger streatched out on the couch a bit, still holding Mark close to him. Every now and then he would wimper and moan, shiver and cry Roger's name. And every time Roger would hold him closer, tell him it was alright and that he was here. It always calmed him down.

"Shh...it's ok." he whispered as Mark shivered.

The night went on. And that night, Roger didn't sleep.

**Author Notes: Oook sorry this took so long. Review! Thanks again for reading! Next chap should be up soon. I dont have school the rest of the week (yaay for senior skip days!) **


	6. Chapter 6: Taking Care of Him

**Author Notes: I'm sorry! I know this took forever! I just ended my senior year of highschool so now I am free! Please don't kill me for the long wait. XD**

**Enjoy**

All I Have is You

Chapter 6: Taking Care of Him

Roger was awake when the sun rose the next morning, Mark's arms still around his waist and his head in his lap. He didn't move at all during the night except when he'd moved them both into his room, which worried Roger at one point but he figured Mark was in too much pain to do so. Roger's eyes felt heavy from not sleeping but he refused to fall asleep and have Mark wake up. He looked down at the blonde filmmaker, his face was pale except for the brusies and large cut he recieved from the fight. His faced held a painful expression. Roger felt his insides turn, seeing his best friend in such pain. He ran his fingers through Mark's soft blond hair, bits of dried blood scraping his fingertips as he did. Mark twitched but didn't wake, Roger sighed. Suddenly, a light knock on the door startled him from the silence.

"Yeah?" he asked.

Collins opened the door and stuck his head in.

"He doin' ok?" Roger's gaze fell back to the blonde in his arms.

"I guess. He hasn't moved since last night, just the occasional twitch." Collins nodded.

"Well, Mimi got home from work last night and..."

"Oh shit I forgot about..." Collins cut him off.

"Don't worry, I filled her in. She wanted to come see you but I figured it best she waited." Roger nodded.

"Thanks Tom."

"Did you sleep at all last night?" Collins asked, now walking fully into the room.

Roger shook his head.

"I just couldn't..."

"S'ok I understand. You care for the boy. But you need to get some rest Rog. Why don't you let me look after him and you go down to Mimi's and take a break."

Roger was hesitant but he nodded.

"Okay."

Collins smiled, satisfyied he was able to talk Roger into something without a stuggle.

"Now gimmie that boy."

Roger cracked a smile and began detaching Mark from his waist. As he tried to slip off the bed, Mark moaned from the sudden lack of warmth and reached for Roger, grasping his t-shirt. Collins gentley pried Mark away and grabbed another blanket to cover him. Still asleep, Mark curled up in the blanket, making himelf as small as possible. Roger smiled at how childish Mark looked when he slept, despite the pain he was in.

"Poor guy." Collins mumbled. Roger only nodded as he stood and began walking to the door. As he did, he heard Mark mumble his name. He turned around and eyed Collins a look that said ' I should stay..'.

"No. Go on. He'll be fine."

Roger nodded and walked out.

Mimi sighed as she jumped off her bed to answer the door, but smiled when she saw it was Roger.

"Hey babe." she said seductivly.

"Hi. Sorry about last night, it's just that Mark..."

"I know Collins filled me in. Is he ok?"

"Yeah, beaten half to death but ok." he said as Mimi stepped aside to let him in.

"Collins said it was bad. They get anything?"

"His coat...any money if he had any I guess. Luckily for him they left his camera."

Mimi giggled.

"Then he'd send the cops after the guys."

Roger smiled and flopped down on Mimi's bed.

"You look exhausted. I'd think you were the one mugged."

"I just couldn't sleep. God Mimi he was and still is in so much pain."

"He'll be alright. Why don't you sleep some?"

"I was hoping to do that." he replied, scooting back and making himself comfortable. He smiled at Mimi and beckoned for her to join him. She smiled and snuggled into his arms.

"Love you." he mumbled.

"Love you too."

_They were smiling, laughing, grinning, all at him. Step by step walking towards him. He backed away until he could no further, his eyes full of fear. _

_"Stay away from me!" he pleaded. _

_"C'mere." they said. _

_"Take him down" they said. _

_And before Mark could protest they grabbed him by the collar and began to beat him. _

_"Roger! Help! Somebody help me!" _

"Roger! Help! Get them away!"

"Mark! Mark! C'mon man wake up!"

Marks screams turned to sobs as his eyes opened and he was released from his nightmare. His body began to shake as he scanned his surroundings. He was in Roger's room and Collins was staring worriedly at him. All he knew at that moment was that his body hurt and that he was scared.

"Where are they?" he asked, his voice hoarse and scratchy.

"Who?" Collins asked.

"Them! The ones who...they hurt me and I..." his voice was so dry he could barley talk without coughing.

"Shhh, calm down now. It's ok those guys are long gone." Collins said, moving to the bed and sitting next to the blonde boy.

"But they..."

"Shh." he said, taking the shivering boy into this arms. "It's ok. You're safe now Mark. No one is going to hurt you." He felt Mark nod against his chest.

"Damn you're freezing." he noted, pulling Mark away and then gathering the blankets and wrapping them around him.

"Lie down. I'll get you some water." Mark nodded silently and did as he was told. A minute later Collins returned, Mark sat up and drank the enitre glass of water.

"Where's Roger?" he asked, his voice a bit clearer now.

"Down with Mimi. He stayed with you all night after he saved you from those guys."

"He didn't sleep?" Mark asked, concerened.

"You expected him to? You scared us both half to death."

"Sorry..."

"S'not your fault. Now try to get some rest. I'll head down to the drugstore later to get some more bandages and shit so we can properly treat those wounds. Anything still hurting?" he asked as he stood up.

"Try everything." Mark mumbled lying down. Collins grinned a bit.

"I'll add some pain medication to the list."

"Thanks Collins."

"Anytime. Now sleep. I'll send Roger up here."

"No need. I'm fine." Mark said, snuggling down into his blankets.

"We'll see about that." Collins mumbled as he walked out.

"Anyone home?" Collins asked as he knocked on the door to Mimi's apartment.

"Hey you." Mimi said, opening the door.

"Where's my favorite rocker?" he asked stepping in.

"Riiight here Thomas." Roger moaned while stretching.

"Sleep any?" he asked.

"A bit."

"Mark woke up."

"Is he alright!"

"He would like you to think he is but really is scared shitless. He's "asleep" upstairs. I'm gonna head over to the drugstore and get him some medicane and stuff. Can you take care of him?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

Collins laughed.

"Atta boy. I'm gone!"

"Well you heard the man..."

"Want me to come?" Mimi asked as Roger pulled her into a hug.

"You have work in less than an hour." Mimi sighed.

"Shit you're right. I'll help later."

"Don't worry about it." he said, kissing her lightly. "I'll call you later." Mimi nodded as Roger quickly walked out and headed up the stairs to the loft he shared with Mark.

**Author Notes: Ok, this was a bit shorter than I planned but I need to end it here. I'm gonna start working on the next chapter like right now because I'm leaving town tomorrow. I'll be on the road for 2 days and then when I get home (my summer home) I'll be able to resume my updates. Again, sorry you had to wait so long for this! Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7: Eyes can't see

**Author Notes: Next one! Fast huh? Two in one day! **

**Enjoy! **

All I Have is You

Chapter 7: Eyes can't see

He knew Roger was coming. It was so quiet he could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs of the apartment. But Mark didn't want to see him. His body hurt, he was embarassed because he'd been seen in such a vunerable state, but the frustrating thing for Mark is that he could do nothing about it. Instead he lay there, curled up on Rogers dusty mattress, scenes from the previous night flashing through his head. The footsteps were now in the loft, coming closer and closer to the door until the sound of the rusty hinges opening reached his ears.

"Mark?" he heard Roger whisper. Mark gave a slight nod, just enough so Roger would know he was awake. He heard Roger sigh in relief.

"You alright?" he asked, walking to the bed and sitting down.

'No now leave me alone please..' he wanted to say, but couldn't bring himself to.

"Mark?" he questioned again, bringing his hand to the smaller mans shoulder, only to pull away when Mark flinched.

"Mark it's me. I'm not gonna hurt you." he said soothingly.

"Don't touch me..." Mark wimpered, curling himself togethter tighter.

Slightly hurt, Roger stood up.

"Fine...just get some rest. I'll be on the couch." and he walked out.

Silence filled the room again, soon the sounds of Roger's guitar filled his ears. He wasn't playing any particualr tune, just stumming the strings a bit, tuning it. Eventually he began playing the ever familiar Mussetta's Waltz, and as the song filled the walls of the loft, Mark drifted off into a deep sleep.

_He was running from them now, they wouldn't stop chasing him, despite his cries and pleas. He'd given them everything he had, minus the clothing on his back. _

_"Stop chasing me...please stop I can't run anymore." he tried to yell but found himself mumbling. _

_But they wouldn't. And he kept running until he found himself screaming. _

_"Roger!" _

Thunder clapped outside as the cloudy skies outside began to darken and rain began to fall. Roger frowned as his sight darkened.

"Dammit." he mumbled as the power flickered until it finally went out.

"Well fuck..." he said, standing up and picking up the match box from the table. More thunder clapped as he walked around the room lighting the candles that were laid all about the room. He saw lightning strike and figured he'd better check on Mark, seeing as the boy wasn't to fond of storms. But before he could make it to his room though, he heard the loud screaming of his name.

"Roger!"

"Shit." he cursed and ran into his room.

"Mark are you alright!" Bursting through the door he found Mark wide awake and shivering on his bed, looking aboslutley petrified.

"Mark what's wrong?" he ran to the bed and bent down, but Mark scooted away.

"Don't touch me…" he muttered.

"What? Why? It's me! Roger! Mark don't you see me!"

"No get away from me! You're not Roger….y..you aren't him!" Mark had backed up enough to where he'd fallen onto the floor.

"Mark stop this! You're going to hurt yourself more!"

"Stop!" he said, holding out his hands as he stood up.

"G..get away!" his voice cracked, his body couldn't stop shaking.

"Mark…it's me…come on man calm down. Just breathe ok?"

"No!"

Roger took a deep breath and slowly began to step toward him. Marks appearance almost scared him. Besides being too thin, his already beaten body was shaking, covered in sweat that caused his shirt to cling to his tiny frame. It was his eyes that scared Roger. He knew how those blue orbs looked when they looked at him; full of warmth, concern and…love but now they were disorented and full of fear. It scared Roger, because if Mark wasn't looking at him then…who was he looking at?

"Mark please…just try and calm down."

The smaller man shook his head and bolted out of the room, passing Roger so quick he didn't have time to register it.

"Mark!" he shouted, following him. He found him up against the cabinets in the kicthen, curled up into a small ball.

"Mark…" he whispered bending down to him, placing his hands on the shaking mans shoulders.

"Look at me Mark…"

Hesitaint, the blonde lifted his head, his eyes meeting Rogers.

"Mark?"

"…R…roger?" The rocker smiled, relieved.

"Yeah it's me. You're alright." He said soothingly, pressing his hands to Marks face, feeling the tears against his palm.

"Roger they were chasing me, they were trying to hurt me again."

"It's ok shhhh. They're gone, they won't ever hurt you again." Rogers intense green eyes burned into Marks scared blue ones, but this time Mark saw them, he saw the seriousness, the concern and the love. Love? Mark's arms detached from around his legs and slowly crept up to where Roger's hands were on his face.

"They're gone now…" he muttered. "It's you…"

"Yes baby they're gone." Roger said reassuringly.

Mark nodded, as if reassuring himself, then allowed more and more tears to fall.

"C'mere." Roger muttered, pulling the shaking boy to him. Mark's arms instanty went around Rogers waist, his head buried into his chest. Roger fell back, letting his back rest against the other cabinet so that he could hold Mark eaiser.

Minutes later, Marks sobs died down and he passed out from exhaustion. Roger sighed, still on their kitchen floor, staring at his blonde roommate. He could shake off how frightened Mark was, it scared him. Those guys really must have scared him for it to be this bad. Depsite all the horrible things that Mark has seen and experianced, this had to have been one of the worst for him.

"I wish I could take this pain away from you…" Roger muttered as he stared at his friends sleeping face.

'But there's nothing I can do now except take care of you…and that's exactly what I'll do.'

**Author Notes: Mmkay, this should hold you off for a bit! Next update will soon! As well as Maureens chapter for My name is. Review!**


	8. Chapter 8: It feels right

**Author Notes: Thanks so much to all my reviewers! I appreciate all of them. Its reviews that keep me going. Anyway, here is chapter** 8

All I Have is You

Chapter 8: It feels right

Rogers POV 

He's been passed out for hours now. I've never seen Mark more petrified in my life; it scared me. People get mugged all the time but for Mark it's different. He moved to New York to escape from his overbearing mother and his abusive father, most importantly, to become a famous filmmaker. It was always in the back of his mind that one day he might get mugged, but he eventually forgot about it. Walking through the streets daily with only a few moody junkies bugging you kind of sets it your mind that you've walked those streets for years and come out without a scratch. When Collins got mugged that Christmas it was a wake-up call. 'Hello stupid boho-boys, you can get mugged!'

Ever since then we've been a bit more alert.

"Roger?" a soft voice asked. Mimi.

"Hey Meems." I said, she smiled and bent down next to where I sat on the edge of Mark's bed.

"How's he doing?"

"He freaked out a little while ago…almost made a run for it but he's ok now…I think."

"That bad?" she asked, shocked.

"He had his weird look in his eyes, like he didn't see me but those bastards that hurt him. I swear if I ever see those guys I'll…"

"Calm down Roger." I sighed, every time I thought about Mark getting hurt my blood just boils.

"He'll be alright babe. We'll take care of him."

Mimi's voice calmed me down but I still felt restless. Part of me wanted to shoo Mimi away so I could take care of him myself. The other part of me wondered why I was suddenly so protective of him. It's like seeing Mark in this state should be my privilege and mine alone. After all that shit he went through when I endured months of withdrawal, you with think that me taking care of him now is my way of paying him back. But, forget all that…I want to take care of him; besides knowing Mark he'd probably be embarrassed for people to see him like this. He tries to hide his pain but somehow, he always seems to reveal a bit of it in front of me.

"I'm gonna go crash Rog…I'm beat." I nodded, knowing she was exhausted. "You coming down later?" she asked.

"No…I can't leave him. I won't leave him." She sighed, sounding a bit disappointed but I didn't care. Mark needed me.

"Ok, see you later." She kissed me lightly and walked out. I breathed a sigh I didn't realize I was holding in. I've never felt so tense around Mimi before.

Damn I just need to chill out.

I stood up, glancing at Mark one more time and then walking to the living room and picking up my guitar, and then heading back to my room. I sat for a while, unconsciously tuning my guitar but staring at Mark. Memorizing every part of his pale bruised face, his slightly ruffed up blonde hair, and his shivering skinny frame.

My poor Mark…

Wait a minute. MY Mark?

What the fuck is wrong with me? This is Mark. My best friend. Nothing more…besides I don't even like men. Or do I?

Why am I suddenly feeling attracted to him? Like I want to hold him like I hold Mimi.

Oh…yeah Mimi. Stupid Roger, stop it. You have a girlfriend. And anyway it's not like Mark is gay or anything and even if he was he wouldn't like me.

"Roger..." he mumbled.

Then again…

I set my guitar down and moved closer to him. Hesitantly , I reached my hand out and lightly brushed it along his cheek, when he didn't respond I moved my hand to his head, running my fingers through is hair. He moaned, my body froze as he squirmed around a bit. His hand began waving around, as if he was trying to find something, but he was still fast asleep.

Maybe he's dreaming?

I leaned over to calm him down, then his hand found mine. Before I could respond his fingers were interlaced with mine and I was frozen.

I snapped out of my trance and tried to pull away but Marks fingers wouldn't budge. Honestly…I didn't want them to. I sighed and maneuvered my way onto the bed. I might as well get some sleep. I couldn't control his hand in mine…and I certainly couldn't control him snuggling up against me. His head rested against my chest, and for the first time that night, he finally looked peaceful. I couldn't take that away from him so I stayed where I was.

Besides…this feels right.

**Author Notes: Ooook this is short but since it's in Rogers POV it has to end here so I can move the story along. PLEASE REVIEW! I only got like 4 reviews for the last 2 chaps so plllease lemme know if you seriously want more.**


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